Family

The picture is pretty damaged as you can see it makes me look like I have hookah pipe hose hanging out of my mouth.  I don’t.  This is my family circa 1977 or there abouts…  not exactly a stunning family portrait by any means.  From the top going clockwise you have my mother, my father, my little baby brother, me and my middle brother with his tongue sticking out.  I think I was more worried about getting my dolly in the photo than whether or not my family was actually behind me – feel the love. 

And still… it’s a rare photo of all of us together.  There aren’t many of them and so even the damaged ones showing the real way we were are precious to me.  It’s hard to imagine that this year will mark my parents 38th wedding anniversary… married in 1969 and a family since 1970.  Not even a full year without children.  Ouch.  I think back on how much we wanted our marriage to be the same way and actually tried conceiving before we were even married.  It didn’t quite work out that way as one year blended into the next until seven years had gone by us and we still didn’t have a child.

That was a very frustrating time.  Family was always our agenda and being childless while our siblings had children was very hard at first.  We assumed the role of the cool Auntie and Uncle believing that was how we’d have children in our lives.  But in that seventh year something happened.  After having so many miscarriages we finally caught a pregnancy at the early stages of miscarrying and were able to keep it viable.  A true miracle.

And now three years later we’re not so alone.  My parents live with us, we have a son and we continue to work on more even when it seems like we might be going another seven years before another miracle graces us.  Family is so special and all messed up at the same time.  I certainly never expected that our relationships would grow or change or even seem bound to end.  My only wish is that we remain a family whether or not we can all be together in one room at one time.  I want more – sure – but right now I want my son to grow up knowing everyone in our family.  It will be his choice as an adult to continue those relationships.  I don’t ever want to deprieve him of family.

I’m not really sure where I was headed with this post… just a couple of thoughts in my head right now that I felt needed a little airing.